A luta continua: The struggle continues, victory is certain.
A luta continua: The struggle continues, victory is certain.
Ms Regina Gwendoline Kgafela is a survivor of abuse
Dieketseng Motsepe
Gender -based violence has been around since time began, but previously one would be advised to never air dirty laundry in public. Society makes it seem like having an abusive partner is something to hide and people have decided they just need to live with it.
However, Ms Regina Gwendoline Kgafela is a survivor of abuse and shares her story in the hope that she will change someone’s life, even if it is just one.
She met her late ex-husband while she was still at a college of education. He was a state prosecutor. After dating for about a year they got married. She was in her first year of teaching and he was made a senior state prosecutor in their area. Marriage seemed like it was all milk and honey.
She has always been a person who loves academics and wanted to study further to keep on developing herself. However, her husband saw this as competition: “As we are developing ourselves we do not develop our partners as well. He took it as competition, but I was not competing,” she said.
She was offered a post as a junior lecturer at the University of South Africa (UNISA) which would require her to move from their home to another area. It was planned that she would come home during weekends and, at first, her husband seemed to agree. As the time to move came nearer he turned against it and gave her an ultimatum that she must choose her family because ‘’family comes first’’.
A year later he encouraged her to apply for a scholarship to America. She was chosen to go, but he turned against the idea of her moving to another country and, once again, she chose him over the scholarship. Ten years into their marriage, he became abusive towards her although to the outside world he was a darling who would not even hurt a fly.
Regina called meetings with the elders of the family to help her deal with the abuse. Her husband would apologise, but after some time he would be back at it and continue being violent towards her. He became so violent that he once pointed a gun at her after beating her. She managed to get to the police station seeking help but, because of his status, charges could not be filed. She insisted that they record her attempt to lay charges, in October 1998, in their books.
A year later, feeling desperate, she hired a hitman to kill her husband. On 6 December 1999 her husband was shot. He passed away on 3 January the following year. After his death his family elders presented her a decree of divorce which was finalised in August 1999 and was she was given a court interdict not to attend the funeral.
No one suspected she was behind his death, but later on the man she hired turned against her and took a plea bargain.
On 4 February 2000 she was arrested and was charged with premeditated murder. She was sent to prison. During her time there, she kept on feeding on her addiction to her studies. Some of her qualifications include Masters in Linguistics (RAU),1996; Masters Diploma in HRM (RAU),2000, Bachelor of Laws (LLB), Unisa (2016). She is currently registered for Masters in Law (LLM) with Unisa and the topic of her mini-dissertation is on The right to further education of offenders in South African correctional centres.
She was released on parole on 5 February 2018, however, because she was busy with her exams she only came out on 15 February.
She says she is not proud of what she did and that she has lost a lot in the process. However, she did what she thought was her only solution.
“Never keep quiet, make a noise and do not get trapped and stay. You will lose yourself and your children. You stand to lose a lot if you stay,” she told the audience.